I have a beautiful Gratitude Journal, covered in sunflowers, called “A Life Of Gratitude” by Lori Roberts. I love it because the pages are beautiful, and they prompt me to think about life in a different way.
One of the pages talked about there being a season for everything and suggested taking a moment to reflect on what change means to you; that each time in our lives has a purpose and to think about who you are now, compared to who you were in the past.
Back in the Summer of 2011, when my youngest daughter was about to embark on secondary school, my life felt like it was changing drastically and of course it was. I suppose it now seems silly, but my third child moving on to senior school was bringing out many different emotions in me. I remember dropping her there for her first induction day (she did not know anyone at all) and then literally sobbing all the way home. I could not wait to get back and collect her. I’m sure many parents can empathise with these changes. I had only worked part-time while the children were in Primary school, so now felt that I needed to find more work to help out at home. I’ve never been good with change and so stress started to show in my physical body. This started with my eyes; they slowly became itchy, red, and watery, which then flared up my eczema until my eyes and my face were a complete swollen and weepy mess. This continued to get worse for a few weeks – I had of course sought medical advice and I was given a few different diagnoses and treatments which only served to make things worse. It took me at least five minutes in the bath in the mornings, with a hot face cloth, to soak and unstick my eyes. I would get up and go to the bathroom blind. My vision was constantly blurred. No-one was considering the underlying cause, not even me at this point.
This leads me to the fact that everything has a season, and with this condition, I felt ugly, I felt sad. The way I looked made me more stressed, and the stress led to the condition getting worse. This was my Winter, both in season and in my soul – I wanted to hibernate, hide myself away. Everywhere I went I wore sunglasses. Finally, a friend suggested I go to see a Healer. Though I had heard of Healing, I had never experienced it, but I was open to anything. I first visited Roger, a Spiritual Healer, in November of 2011 and it was the first time I felt – in fact knew for certain – that I would get better. I would Heal. As soon as I met him, I felt some of the worry drain away. That first Healing was like nothing I had ever experienced before – the warmth, the energies, all served to calm me. You cannot feel stressed when in a space of Healing, especially when using your breath to breathe deeply and consciously. The music that was playing that evening, “Eternal” by Miriam Stockley, was so beautiful and added to the whole experience. I still play this during Healing sessions today and even now, I am transported back to my first time sitting on that Healing stool.
It took quite a few sessions of Healing to clear up my eyes and skin, but each time, I started to look more and more like myself again. I cried a LOT during some of these appointments, but this all served to release my anxieties. Roger, never faltered in his belief that Healing would help me, he was kind and patient throughout.
Finally, when my eyes were wide open again and my skin was clear, I stopped going for Healing. Spring was on the Horizon, and for me it definitely felt like the end of one thing and that something new was beginning. I honestly felt like I was emerging from a cocoon, not quite a butterfly, not that beautiful … yet – but definitely somewhere inbetween. I found it hard to walk away from the Healing as I had embraced it so much and had so much to be grateful for. How could I suddenly not be around this life-changing energy? I felt renewed in a way I cannot explain, but at the same time, I felt bereft. Healing was in my soul now, but I didn’t know what to do about it.
I had kept in touch with Roger and he said to me one day that he had a feeling I could do this – give Healing to others. I was surprised as I hadn’t really considered becoming a Healer myself, but I went and had lunch with him and his wife, Jennie, and we chatted about all things Spiritual and Magical.
After a couple of visits, Roger said ‘OK, today you can do some Healing on me’ – I was so nervous, ridiculously so, but I did it. A little awkwardly to be sure, but it felt good. I worked with him for a while, building up my confidence and he introduced me to a couple of his clients, to whom we gave joint Healing. He really did nurture me through the Healing process and I am thankful and grateful beyond words to have had this personal encouragement.
I wanted to continue with my Healing and to help others and so registered with a tutor, a beautiful and wonderful soul, Ann Coleman, with whom I gained my Accreditation to become a Healer Practitioner in Spiritual Healing. From there I set up my little business, Sunshine Healing, and have never looked back.
Just over two years ago, I made a short promotional video and I was so nervous, I literally sweated buckets that day. I was pleased with the result and the feedback I received was positive, but even in these last two years I can see how much self-confidence I have gained and, looking back, I feel like it was a different me that made that video.
I feel I am now in my Summer phase – I have finally emerged as a new, improved, far more confident version of me. In the last few months, I have started to do live videos on Facebook. I NEVER thought I would be capable of this, yet I have found that I love it. Thanks for this go to a wonderful Facebook group that I am in, and namely Marion Morley, for suggesting we all practice our Live videos within a safe space. The first time I did it, I put it off until almost midnight, then jumped nervously on and did a quick ‘hello’.
What does the future hold? We have certainly had time to reflect in this period of ‘lock-down’ and uncertainty and I know that I want to be able to offer more Healing, to reach more people both in person and on-line. I would like to work more with crystals and incorporate this into a Healing session. I also have given guided meditation sessions online, both in groups and one-to-one. I write these myself and this brings me joy. I am also in the process of recording these meditations, so will be able to offer them for sale later this year.
I love working online, I can reach out to the whole world! I have worked with an amazing mindset coach, Brooke Bownes, who has encouraged me to move forward. I am embracing life and I am so grateful to her for all her amazing support. Furthermore, having experienced for myself and through my clients the power of talking before and after Healing sessions, I would like to take a course to complement this – talking therapy of some kind. I am a great listener and get so much satisfaction and upliftment from seeing other people feel better through the power of Healing and talking. It would be lovely to offer something different to clients.
I still work with Roger once a week (although we had a huge gap during Lockdown) and he tells me I have become a wonderful Healer – to me this is the highest compliment I can receive as it was from him that I learned not only about giving Healing, but to be absolutely passionate about it. He has been through some health issues in the past couple of years, and I am truly thankful to have been able to help him cope like he once helped me. As indeed, he still does help me. Roger, who is also a talented musician, wrote and played the beautiful and perfect music that accompanies my promotional video. It makes me smile so much to realise how lucky I am.
I find I am stepping out of my comfort zone more and more and this is scary sometimes, but so exciting. The more I do this, the more I step into my own personal power and I love that I can shine my light brightly and help other people. I have also written some song words, which I’m hoping to incorporate into a recording with my light language or use it within the meditations (or maybe both) I’m not sure yet.
As for the season of Autumn, I feel that we all experience the shedding of layers from time to time, a period of letting go, appreciating the moments of beauty, colour, change; as we rest, allowing rejuvenation to take place, so that we may step into our true selves more and more over time, with renewed energy and life.
We are ever changing, finding new ways to grow and learn, whilst keeping our roots firmly anchored into the Earth as we do so. Allow and observe these changes and welcome them in with open arms.
I have been on a wonderful, spiritual, Healing journey, and feel that I have finally stepped into the sunshine and spread my beautiful wings. They are bright and vibrant, and I feel that over the coming seasons of my life, they will fly me higher and further towards my vision. I am grateful, I am thankful, I am lucky.
I AM A BUTTERFLY 🦋
Originally written – 10/4/2020 (Lockdown)